The Blog of a Pharaoh

Hello World!

I am Ramesses II , The Pharaoh, The King! Writing this post from the under world… which is soooo under the world… and black…. and … it stinks too!

Today I was granted one wish in return of a ‘once-done-good-deed’ in the world above. As I am in the “C” Class of the underworld where access to all my emails and stuff is not permitted, I have only heard about social media from other fellows in “B” category of this hell, who regularly ‘tweet’ about the punishment experiences they have been having and update their FB status on receiving ‘Treatments’ from the fire-angels.

Yesterday someone from the Umayeeyat community wrote “Hell The Fire They are Putting in my Ar$e and forcing it up my mouth, is burning my bottoms and intestines and is scary flamy” … The update got 888 likes from fellow hellers… lolz you know!

Cutting it, I have short time to interact with you people, I know I have been a damn popular guy in your world, you have excavated my cities, my beloved Pyramids, you have made movies on my life, you have done everything possible to get under my skin but the worst you have put me on display in museum????!!! Guys I am not a showcase thing! You don’t put tickets on guys like me! I am no Lady Gaga! I am a King, I am a Pharaoh, I am The Ramesses II, I have been the God (Shit every time time I say this I feel terrible flames in my mouth… it burns!)

You seem to doubt my greatness … ok… here is something that may be convincing for you.

It is The Ramses II temples in Nubia.  The entrance of the great temple is bordered by four giant statues of mine, ech of them about 66 feet high (20 meters), all this was done around 1230 B.Cs without any of today’s machinery and today you feel proud of your White Houses, Taj Mahals, Burj Khalifas??

Look at these Ancient Egypt Blogs, mostly “Historically Pressed” on the walls of Pyramids , as today you have “Freshly Pressed” on the “WordPress”. These are our Posts about Life, Posts about Culture, Posts about Religion, Posts about Society, and our predictions about your present world, most of which are coming true!

Have a look at my wife, Queen Isetnofret ‘s photo .

You laughing? She was not ACTUALLY like this! She was a pretty lady, a gorgeous one. Offcourse we did not have cosmetic surgeries at that time , else after Botox’ly treated and having had a few touches of Silicone surgery, She would have also looked liked , I don’t know, may be Jay Loo, or Jolie, whatever! Nah I had many wives but the way you have made fun of poor Isetnofret, m not gona share anymore pics of them. You can however, have a look at my snapshot  :

Seeee? I am the one standing in the cart. No no no no no . . . . you are again taking it wrong, it s not a fun festival, neither M i dancing , this is a special pose for battle of Kadesh, though I could got nothing out of it, still the picture remained a memoir and I am really looking smart, wish the photographer had used a 12.5x Zoom in soft lens! I have seen the world change a lot since my times (which were good times), the only thing remain unchanged is the spreading of Islam and Muslim Militancy, I wish I had not fought with Moses, look what he did to me!

Though I am thankful to the movie makers for not showing my drown in the Nile which actually happened, I also have one complain. I was much smart and handsome as compared to the bald guy who played me in the movie.. Have a look at my close up specially taken for you guys.

See… I am sayin “Cheese” in the front pose!

Time to disconnect as fire angels are moving towards me again.

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